• StevenF

"Your Day Is What You Make It."

Updated: May 23

So technically I'm back on Facebook again. When I took my audiobook production course, one of the recommendations of the class was to join Facebook support group for class members to share experiences and troubleshoot problems.

I didn't really want to get back on Facebook, but there was certainly value in joining the group, and one of the benefits of the course is that even though the official course is over, we have lifetime access to all the materials and the Facebook group, and it has admittedly been helpful to get and share feedback and receive assistance with technical issues and such.

I finally have my recording studio to my liking. My sound levels are good now. My "studio" is a closet lined with blankets, but it has been really affective at keeping the noise out and creating the sound I have strived for, so I am pleased.

And the closet itself is a good space. It feels roomy enough. It does get hot in there, but I have a fan I turn on when I'm not recording, and that has been helpful.

I have discovered that the Surface Pro X I bought for recording purposes because it has no fan is having some technical issues. My screen goes black for a few minutes while I'm working. Isaias actually had a similar issue with his first Surface Pro, too, but the one he replaced it with has worked fine.

I actually like the tablet itself because it is so silent, which is just what I need. I have insurance on it, so I should be able to get it fixed or replaced easily. I hope so anyway, especially since I just bought it.

But I am getting to a place where I feel I can actually start doing audiobook production for real, so that makes me happy.

None of that is what this post is really about, however.

Since I have activated my Facebook account again, I have tried hard not to get on Facebook other than for audiobook purposes.

But I admit I take little sneak peaks now and then to update myself on what might be going on in the lives of various friends and family. And I am also continually reminded why I deactivated Facebook in the first place, so fortunately, the temptation to linger is not very strong.

But yesterday I happened across a post from a Facebook friend and read a comment exchange he had with a mutual friend. I don't think either friend reads this blog, and even if they do, I would freely say to them what I am going to say about their conversation.

I also want to stress that I am not casting judgment on either of these friends. I am simply making some observations about something that perhaps we see differently, and that it's perfectly fine that we see things differently.

And if you don't agree with my assessment or opinions, that's fine too. We're all coming at life with our own experiences and perspectives. I'd like to share mine.

The post and conversation went like this:

Friend 1's original post read: How can we use the power of positive thinking right about now?

Friend 2: Is that a sarcastic question? Please be a sarcastic question because I have a story for you….

Friend 1: 'Tis. 'Tis truly. 😊

Friend 2: oh thank god. Here’s my “fuck off with your toxic positivity story”. I was talking to this guy right? (Mistake, I know) and he asked how my day was. I explained how I had a truly awful day, everything that could go wrong did, etc etc.

His reply? “Your day is what you make it”. Fuck right off with that bullshit. Not only did that prove to me that you have zero empathy/compassion but please explain how the fuck that is helpful?? Especially to someone like me who is already anxious AF and thinks everything is her fault 100% of the time.

I told him to fuck off and deleted his number.

Fuck that shit.

Friend 1: yeah for real! Like really being positive won't change the material circumstance, and acting like shit smells like roses is just so weird to me.

Friend 2: 100% agree. Like…..that’s toxic as fuck. Sure there’s nothing wrong with looking for a positive in a situation or having an “attitude of gratitude” but to just completely disregard someone’s experience? Yeah fuck you.

Now I, of course, do not know the full context of the conversation Friend 2 had with the guy who told her, "Your day is what you make it." I do not know what she specifically shared with him or how he said it to her. And I am in no way trying to minimize how it made her feel. She obviously felt that her feelings and experience were disregarded, and those feelings are valid.

But I am a believer in the Law of Attraction. I truly believe the energy we put out into the world influences the energy we get back. So while the "advice" given was obviously not helpful to my friend and certainly not in that moment, I do believe the adage "Your day is what you make it" does contain some truth.

And look, I'm not saying we have to always look at life through a lens of rainbows, sunshine, and roses because, hey, life isn't always happy, and pretending it is isn't realistic.


Here's my main observation: I have noticed in the past that the general tenor of both of these friends' posts more often dwell on the negative than the positive, and I think that says something about the lens through which they see their lives and circumstances in general. And when one constantly seeks out the negative—even if one doesn't recognize that is what one is doing or even feels that's what they desire to do—that is what one will see. That will be the dominating perspective of one's life.

I would also argue that both of these friends probably don't believe they're being negative; they are just being realistic. And therein lies the crux of what I am talking about: they believe the reality they see is reality because...well, for them it is their reality. As Friend 1 says, "acting like shit smells like roses is so weird" to him, but that might be because his perspective causes him to dwell on the "shit" that surrounds him. And the more you dwell on that, the more you are surrounded by it.

I actually believe we can change our realities and perspectives. We can't always change our circumstances. We can't necessarily change what happens to us. But we certainly have power over how we react to those things, and when we change how we view things, we actually start to attract more of what we dwell on.

I will say this, too. Both of these friends have had some crap happen to them. They've both gone through some tough times. So I'm not blaming either of them for seeing life in what comes across to me, an outsider, as largely negative. I'm actually sympathetic towards them because they are both caught in their own paradigms. And that is their reality as they see it.

And it's hard to elevate oneself from a negative mindset when that genuinely appears to be one's reality. We see the world we see based on our experiences and perspectives, and that becomes our reality. I'm simply arguing that, hard as it may believe, it doesn't have to be.

I haven't always felt this way. Good grief, if you read my journals from high school and early college, for example, I am a self-centered, pessimistic little sourpuss, so often focused on the bad, complaining about everything, angry and blameful. I would have rolled my eyes at the guy I am now.

And who knows? Maybe the lives of my two friends have been genuinely harder and crappier overall than mine has. Maybe their terrible experiences have colored their views of life and the world in a way my less-than-terrible challenges have colored mine.

Again, I promise that I am not trying to judge these two people who I genuinely care about. I just believe that it is possible for them to change their realities and how they see the world by how they choose to respond to it.

And hey, we are all where we are in life based on what got us here. We see life the way we see it. There is no shame in that.

But, without disregarding my friends' lives, experiences, and realities, I still believe that each day is what you make it, and that when you focus on the positive rather than dwell on and live in the negative, you will attract and see more of the positive in your life.

Just my opinion and experience, for what it's worth.

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