• StevenF

Sad Reflections

I guess the universe wanted me to be sad and reflective today because three photos from three different years came up in my Google Photos memories.

The first one was of our sweet little Jasper shortly before we officially adopted him.

I miss this boy so much. I miss his frail body and sad eyes. I miss his high-pitched meow. I miss nuzzling his body under my chin while he sat on my chest. I miss how much he unconditionally loved us.

In this photo, he was in really rough shape. He was dehydrated, malnourished, his fur was matted and covered in his own feces. Flies would hover over him. He smelled bad. He was extremely sick.

We took him in to find out he was FIV-positive, and we tried to help him as best we could. It was a hard, expensive road, but this cat changed our lives in such a positive way, and we changed his, too. This forgotten, sick cat found two dads who tried to give him the best five months of his life he likely had.

And he was so grateful. And so loving. We miss him terribly. Isaias and I often cry over his loss. He has left such a deep impression in our hearts.

The second photo was from two years ago. It is a photo taken in the parking lot of the hospital where Isaias' mom was fighting Covid.

She had been in the hospital for twelve nights at this point, and after 13 more nights, she would be gone.

Isaias had put several metal butterflies he had painted (and which his mom had helped with) in various areas throughout the parking lot with notes asking for people to pray for his mom and brother, who were in the hospital fighting Covid. This picture shows one of those butterflies along with the note.

The blue and white note in the upper left portion of the photo was from a group of staff members who worked at the hospital. It said, "Sending prayers for your mother and brother & wishing them a speedy recovery."

Although our prayers were not answered the way we hoped, we were grateful for the well wishes.

That was such a tough time. This was in the earlier days of Covid when doctors were still trying to figure out how to treat the disease, before a vaccine was available, and when scientists were still learning how the disease was spread.

It was a scary and sad time.

We miss Nena so much. I don't think we will ever fully recover from her loss. Her death has changed our lives immeasurably.

I miss talking to her. I miss going out to lunch with her. I miss her phone calls. I miss visiting her at her house. I miss her voice. I miss kissing her on the forehead. I miss her hugs.

The final photo is from six years ago and is a favorite photo of mine. It is of Trooper and me.

I miss my baby so much. She was my little girl.

She lived a good life, but I miss her warm body snuggled against mine. I miss her burrowing her body against my shoulder. I miss her licking my hair. I miss her jumping on my back and shoulder. I miss her thin body. I miss petting her soft fur.

It's interesting that these three losses all came up today. Of course, we feel their losses every day, but I sure feel them all today in a big way.

We lost Nena in May of 2020.

We lost our dear friend Camille in November of 2020

We lost Jasper in October of 2021.

And we lost Trooper in December of 2021.

It's been a season of grief, and it's been hard for both of us, particularly Isaias.

Things are getting better, but we feel these losses deeply.

I'm glad we have Blondie, Chappy, Grizzabella, and Franki to lighten the load. And I'm glad we have family and friends to support us. Because we sure miss those we have lost.

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