• StevenF

Kids and Guncles

Isaias and I made the choice early in our relationship not to have kids. While I wanted kids when I was younger, by the time Isaias and got married, I was nearly 38, and I just didn't feel like I had the energy or temperament to be a father at that age. I felt too set in my ways to add children to the mix.

I think Isaias would have been interested in having children if I had been open to it, but he entered into our relationship knowing I didn't want any. Now that we are both older, I don't think he has any regrets about not our not having had any.

But we enjoy being uncles (or "guncles," as one of my niece's has nicknamed us). Currently we are in California watching our two nephews while my niece participates in a run from San Diego to Huntington Beach. So this involves getting them ready for school, helping them with homework, making sure they are on top of chores, reading them bedtime stories, etc.

We have watched these guys before. We love them, and they love us. They are good kids, and their niece is an amazing mother. Her husband, our nephew, is in the military and is currently stationed in Japan, so our amazing niece is doing much of the parenting on her own right now.

I'm glad we are able to give her the opportunity to have some "me time" and do something she has worked hard at.

It's interesting being in the position of discovering what it might have looked like if Isaias and I had had kids. These days, I just feel too tired to be a full-time dad.

I remember one time I asked my great-aunt, who was in her 90s at that point, if she ever regretted not getting married or having kids. She said she did not.

I think Isaias and I would have been good parents, but I also don't think everyone is meant to have kids. If things had worked out, I likely would have married a woman and had kids like a typical Mormon couple. And I probably would not have been very happy at all. I'm glad things worked out the way they did.

I don't regret not having had children. I'm sure if I had, they would have brought me a lot of joy. But I'm glad things worked out the way they did. I prefer the childless life.

I'm quite happy just being a "guncle."

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